The Bible teaches that God forgives everyone who turns to him, freely and completely, through Christ — and that people who have been forgiven are called to forgive others. Forgiveness means releasing the debt and the right to revenge; it does not mean pretending the wrong was small, excusing abuse, or necessarily restoring trust straight away.
God's forgiveness comes first
The whole Bible story bends toward forgiveness: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9, KJV). On the cross Jesus prayed for his executioners, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34, KJV). Christians forgive because they have been forgiven: "forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32, KJV).
Why Jesus took it so seriously
Forgiveness is the only line of the Lord's Prayer Jesus comments on afterwards (Matthew 6:14–15). When Peter asked whether forgiving seven times was enough, Jesus said seventy times seven, then told the parable of a servant forgiven a vast debt who refused to forgive a small one (Matthew 18:21–35). The point is proportion: what we have received dwarfs what we are asked to give.
What forgiveness is not
- Not saying it didn't matter. You can only forgive a real wrong.
- Not the same as trust. Forgiveness can be given in a moment; trust is rebuilt over time and may sometimes not be wise to restore.
- Not staying in danger. Forgiving an abuser never requires remaining in harm's way or avoiding the authorities.
- Not a feeling. It is often a decision repeated many times before the feelings follow.
When it feels impossible
Start by being honest with God about the hurt — the Psalms model this. Pray for the ability to want to forgive. Consider writing down what was taken from you, and then, in prayer, release the debt. Many Christians find that a pastor, priest or counsellor helps with deep wounds. Catholic and Orthodox Christians also receive God's forgiveness in the sacrament of confession; many Protestants confess to God directly or to a trusted believer (James 5:16).
In Scripture
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.Ephesians 4:32 · KJV
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.1 John 1:9 · KJV
Where the traditions differ
Each position is attributed to the tradition that holds it; we do not rank them. See the full comparison.
Context
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